Wizards Who's Line Is It Anyway?
by Laureen Lycan
Summary: The Wizard version of Who's Line Is It Anyway? The contestants and hosts change each time! Vote in for who you want to see next. As far as I know, no one has done this before and I did not steal the idea. PG-13 for sexual humor.


Harry Potter Who's Line Is It Anyway?

_A/N:  Okay, I got the idea from this story while reading Mauve Lipgloss' _Karaoke Night II.  _How that has anything to do with _Who's Line Is It Anyway?_ I have yet to find out.  I plan to change the hosts (And contestants) every chapter.  This chapter is hosted by none other than -   ……… Well, you'll just have to read to find out, then, won't you?  As far as I know, this hasn't been done yet._

_Disclaimer:  All of the characters in this story belong to J.K. Rowlings.  _Who's Line Is ItAnyway?_ belongs to the wonderful ABC network, if I'm not much mistaken. _

**Ludo Bagman's voice is heard throughout the studio**

_Welcome to our very own _Who's Line Is It Anyway,_ the show where contestants do improves and the points don't matter!  The contestants have NOT practiced before the show nor are they aware of any of the improves they will be asked to perform.  Tonight's host is none other than …Percival Weasley!!  **crowd cheers**_

            At this, a very harassed-looking Percy stumbled out onto the stage, a disgruntled expression on his freckly face.   Some of the half-bloods and muggle-born wizards and witches in the audience laughed at the irony of the situation.  Percy resembled a younger, thinner, and sober Drew Carrey with his horn-rimmed glasses.  Well…sort of, if you excluded the freckles and the vivid hair color.  

            Percy sat down at the mic and ruffled some papers.  

            He cleared his throat and read off, "Welcome to _Who's Line Is It Anyway?_ where the contestants act out improves and the points are only given to…

            He paused, frowning, but nevertheless finished the sentence.  "To satisfy those pompous and uptight critics on TV."  

            Shaking his brightly illuminated head, he went on.       

            "Tonight's contestants will be Sirius Black, Sylvia Sinistra, Ronald Weasley, and Oliver Wood!!" 

            As he announced each one, the spotlight shined on his or her chair up on stage.  

            Sirius had his black hair pulled back into a low ponytail and was wearing black boots under his tight jeans and black t-shirt.  He grinned cheerfully and waved at the crowd.  His grin only widened as he saw the looks he received from the female (and some of the male) portion of the audience.

            Sylvia Sinistra smiled good-naturedly at the crowd.  Her dark brown hair was also pulled back into a low pony-tail, though she had a strand of hair down the side her face.  She was wearing a dark blue tank over a pair of black jeans.  Several of the men whistled and she flushed slightly, but waved nonetheless.

            Ron was behaving in an entirely different manner.  The boy was breathing in short gasps, obviously panic-stricken in front of a large audience.  His hands were gripping the sides of his chair so hard, his knuckles were turning white.  Beforehand, he was very excited about appearing, however as he sat there hyperventilating, it was obvious he had a bit of stage fright.  His mummy had dressed him in a pair of dark blue jeans and maroon shirt.(Much to his dismay.)

            Oliver was smiling and waving at the crowd, obviously right at home being in front of a large group of people.  He was wearing khakis and and a hunter green shirt, making his green eyes and brown hair look lighter.              

            Percy looked up at the contestants and his nose wrinkled the tiniest bit:  An Azkaban escapee, (Name cleared of course, this is dated in Harry's Sixth year, assuming Sirius' name will be cleared then.) one of his former (and very attractive) professors, his little (and very annoying) brother, and an (Sorry, Angie!!) arrogant jock. 

            Sighing to himself resignedly, Percy forced a smile at the camera and said, "Let's get started with the show, shall we?"  **audience cheers**  Sirius and Silvia looked busy stealing glances at each other.  Oliver looked excited.  Ron looked like he was about to be very sick.  

Percy sighed and said, "Our first improve will be," he pointed his wand down at a bowl filled with slips of paper.  

            One slip raised itself up and hung directly above Percy who had to jump in order to retrieve it.  

            He glanced at it with his grey eyes and groaned inwardly.  

            "Ron and Sylvia will be news anchors at _WNFP (_Wizardly News on the FirePlace), Oliver will be the weatherman with a …" he paused and allowed himself a slight grin.  "…Stone…who has a strong urge to urinate, and that leaves Sirius to be the reporter in the middle of Kansas in Tornado Season."  **audience cheers**  **Percy wonders if he could possibly get up and run out of the studio**  

            Sirius stood at left stage, Oliver at right and the chairs Sylvia and Ron were sitting at magically positioned themselves at center stage.     

            The little news-theme song came on and the camera zoomed in on Ron and Sylvia;  Ron's jaw was trembling and his forehead was glazed with a layer of cold sweat.

            Sylvia closed her hands on the desk in front (Which had appeared with the music) and tried to look very professional, giving a small nod to the camera.  

            "Welcome to WNFP," she said rapidly, "We are Ivanna Shaggalot and Justin Credible bringing you the evening news."

            She paused for Ron to continue where she left off, but the trembling Ron just opened his mouth and gave out a low squeak, staring wide-eyed into the audience.

            Sylvia turned from "Justin Credible" and looked into the camera.  "Justin has just made a good point, Tornado Season has hit Kansas and we'll tune you in to Luke Sgooden Geens who will give you the 411 on that.  Luke…"

            Percy shut his eyes and made a mental note to throttle the ministry member that had volunteered him for this.

            The camera focused on Sirius who had put a Blowing Charm on his hair and clothing and was shouting into an  invisible microphone.  "Well, Ivanna, a large tornado has just hit the area and, I must admit, I'm having trouble interviewing some of the local residents as many of them are flying past my head," he said professionally.  Some of the audience laughed at his tone.

            A film was being shown behind him of an oncoming twister throwing houses, people, cows, and various other organisms and objects ruthlessly out of its way.

            "I managed to have a good talk with one of the local cows who told me that the yearly twister seasons have lately become very…" he suddenly screamed as one of the chairs shown in the backgrounded headed toward his head and magically shot out of the film towards him.  He dived out of the way and landed upon the lap of an extremely obese woman.

            The camera focused back on Sylvia and Ron.          

            Sylvia offered the camera a dazzling smile and said, "Thank you, Luke, for the scoop on Kansas." 

            The camera focused on "Justin" who was to announce the outlook on the weather.

            Ron blinked and took a valiant breath of air.  He opened his mouth, paused, and then passed out on the floor.

            Sylvia looked back at the camera.  "And now we have I.M. Keeper with the weather."

            Oliver was holding his crotch with one hand and pointing at the map of the U.S. with his other.  He was sweating and red-faced, due to a charm he had put on himself.

            "There will be…Rains…." he groaned loudly and slapped the map with his wand.  "In the southeast area acompanied by many…"  he bit his lip.  "Tsunami waves… Waves of…water."  Choking a sob, he moved his wand up.

            "In the northeast, we have…" he wailed, "Stones!  Hail stones beating, raining down all over the area!!"              

            Moving across the map, his hands trembled and he did a little dance, all the while holding onto his crotch.  "Rains will be considerable all over the area," he sobbed and slapped the map again.  "Rain, rain and more rain down the southwest!  Rain," he continued, choking back tears.  "Pouring, crashing, spilling down all the way…" he trailed off, dropped his wand and ran backstage, the sound of liquid pouring on liquid heard.

            The camera focused back on Sylvia who was hefting an unconscious Ron back into his seat.  Upon noticing the camera, she snapped back to her original position. 

            "And that's all for the evening news.  Tune back in to WBFP tomorrow night."  She flashed a smile on the camera and it zoomed out.

            Percy was attempting to balance his wand on the tip of his nose when he realized that the camera was on him.

            Snatching the wand down immediately, he cleared his throat and lowered his flushed face to the paper.  

            His voice rang out valiantly, "Yes, well, one hundred points give to Sirius, two hundred for Ron, three hundred for Silvia, and four hundred for Oliver.  And now it's time for our…" his voiced died down.  "Professional ho-down…"

            He read a footnote and his head snapped up.  He had a broad smile on his face.  

            "The pianist will be yours truly!" he cried and settled himself down at the piano to the side of the state.

            Ron had been revived and the four contestants were on stage.

            **Percy begins playing the ho-down melody quite enthusiastically, hamming it all up**  **Sirius steps forward first**

"I am an Azakaban Escapee,

I made the dementors sad and weepy.

But now I appear on TV shows,

I seduced the managers, the little **BEEP**"  

            The audience laughed and Percy grinned, continuing hamming his portion of the show up.

            Ron stepped up next, but as soon as he did, he flushed and passed out on the floor once more.

            Oliver stepped over him and cleared his throat, waiting for Percy to start the beginning piece of the melody over.

"I play Quidditch on a professional team,

It's always good for blowing off steam,

But however much stress I get,

I find it best relieved by playing quidditch in bed."

            Percy blinked, but only continued with his melody as the audience laughed and cheered.

            Sylvia stepped up next.

"I teach at  Hogwarts, a wizarding school,

I think looking at the stars is very cool,

I observe the stars and read their strife,

Perhaps this is why, 

I have no life."

            The audience cheered at the end of her performance and the contestants sat back down.

Percy ended his melody with great flourish and the audience applauded loudly.  

            Percy grinned and said, "Tune in tomorrow night for a new episode of the wizard-version of _Who's Line Is It Anyway?_"

A/N:  Please tell me how you like in and vote in for who  you want to be the next host and contestants!  …Don't kill me, Angie!  Percy made me do it!  He has his ways of influencing me…**shifts her eyes and coughs, blushing a bit**


End file.
